All of us want to have fun while swinging, but we need to make sure that the people we meet and play with are having fun too. Following these few simple guidelines will help to ensure that everyone has a good time and happy to meet and play again.
Be aware that many people in the swinging lifestyle are full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated will ensure that other people will want to play with us.
Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of arranging and hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond. Good etiquette and good social courtesy DEMAND you respond, by either calling or writing to say yes OR no.
When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house- gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.) There is no need to take anything if you are attending a paying party or a club.
Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc.. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.
Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what the time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO.
Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.
If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "No, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
One of the basic etiquette's in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.
Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.
Most people only use the telephone if they are going to go somewhere. Lost seems to the social ambience of a 'Thank You Note' or phone call to someone whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people, and they will surely remember you when planning their next event. Don't you like to be thanked?
When you have people coming to your home, try to anticipate their needs: put clean sheets on the beds; keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available. Show your guests through the house so that they will know where the bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms are located.
Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.